Anxiety in Terms of Grief
When we talk about grief, we are talking about an overall state comprised of many different emotions and sensations. Under the umbrella term of grief, one finds the feelings of depression, anger, and numbness, among many others. One of the most important emotions present on the spectrum of grief is of anxiety. Anxiety can be understood as a strong sensation of worry or unease, typically in anticipation of a future event whose result and effects are uncertain. In the context of grief, anxiety can be understood to be of two types. There is the anxiety present in anticipatory grief, the grief that occurs before the loss of a loved one, a friendship, a job, or a romantic relationship; and the anxiety present in post-loss grief. This blog post will discuss in detail these two categories of grief-related anxiety and will offer some suggestions and advice on dealing with these anxieties.
Anxiety in Anticipatory Grief
Anxiety is central to anticipatory grief. The essence of anticipatory grief is closely related to that of anxiety, which is the fear of a future event with an uncertain result. When experiencing anticipatory grief, a person may experience anxiety about how the loss will affect them. They might be anxious about how much pain the loss will cause, and how they will continue to live without the person or thing they have lost. If they are losing a loved one, they might have anxiety about how much pain their loved one is in. They also might feel anxious about not being able to spend enough time with their loved ones before they pass. If they are losing a relationship or friendship, they might be anxious about their ability to find a new friend or romantic partner, or about whether or not they will be able to move on emotionally from the parting. If they are losing a job, they might be anxious about finding a new job or being able to provide for themselves and their families.
Anxiety in Post-Loss Grief
Anxiety plays a large part not only in anticipatory grief but also in the grief that people experience in the aftermath of a loss. Some of the sources of anxiety for people going through anticipatory grief are shared by those going through post-loss grief. People in post-loss grief might feel anxious about how their lives will be without the person or thing they lost. If they lost a job, they may be anxious about finding a new one. If they lost a relationship or friendship, they might be anxious about meeting new people. People in post-loss grief might feel anxious about a perceived loss of control over their lives. They might feel anxious about how long the grief will last. They might feel anxious about losing other people or things that they care about. If they lost a loved one, they might experience anxiety about their own mortality.
Dealing with Grief-Related Anxiety
Although grief-related anxiety can be extremely difficult to deal with, there are ways to alleviate it and manage it. It is helpful to get educated on anxiety. Anxiety is, ultimately, a natural response. Our anxiety is triggered by things that we don’t know and that scare us. Loss is something like this. It triggers fear and leaves uncertainty in its wake. If you understand this, it may calm you. Furthermore, it is crucial that you understand that the future is unknowable. No matter how much you worry about it and obsess over it, you cannot know what it will contain. Becoming content with this reality can help reduce anxiety.
It is also important to make sure you are allowing yourself to grieve. If you repress your grief, this can serve to heighten feelings of anxiety. Anxiety, like grief, is more difficult to deal with alone. It is helpful to surround yourself with supportive, loving people who you can share your feelings with. Self-expression is another helpful strategy in dealing with grief-related anxiety. Engaging in art or writing can help you get your feelings out into the open in a positive way. It also helps to maintain a daily routine and keep busy. If your mind is occupied with various tasks, it is less likely to fall into the thought-traps of anxiety. Grief coaching and counseling are also a great help in managing and overcoming grief-related anxiety. Coaches and counselors can help you navigate through your anxiety and develop specific plans of action for dealing with it.
The characteristics of resilient people that were discussed in the previous blog, Resilience in Grief, are also helpful in dealing with grief-related anxiety. As we mentioned, resilient people make a conscious effort to focus on and involve themselves with the positive things in their lives. This is beneficial for anxiety as it keeps the mind off of the triggers and helps improve your overall emotional state. Resilient people also ask themselves if what they are doing is helping them or hurting them. This is what you must ask yourself when anxiety strikes. By engaging with your anxiety, by ruminating over the future, are you helping yourself overcome your grief?
Conclusion
Loss always seems to catch us off-guard. Even if we know that it is coming, it always impacts us in ways we cannot foresee. Loss is a kind of known unknown. We have all experienced it, and yet it is something new and different for every person. The quality of being unknown, as well as the frightfulness of loss, make it a perfect catalyst for anxiety. This anxiety can make it more difficult for us to overcome our grief. However, anxiety is manageable. There are things we can do to control our anxiety. We can find resilience and survive this aspect of grief.
